Because you are a victim of sexual abuse does not mean that there is something wrong with you. I’ve had various conversations of the past couple weeks surrounding that first sentence. I think it’s important to address the fact that we live in a victim blaming society.. I did a whole entire blog post on “Rape Culture” and what I’m saying here is similar, but in this post I’d like to address the actual victims. 

Women all around me are saying, “Well I was raped/abused because of _____” Fill in the blank. Some women think they were abused because they looked a certain way. Some women think that they deserved it because they drank too much, or wore something to revealing. Some women think that they were abused because they were weak. I know I relate to the latter. I was convinced that there was something wrong with me? I was abused because I was easy prey. A limping deer. It threw me for a loop and I got really stuck in thinking that I was terrible for it. I blamed myself, as many of you do, for not being strong enough.. If I was strong enough, if I hid my body more, if I didn’t take that last drink, then this wouldn’t have happened. Ladies, you cannot be any more wrong. There is no criteria for abuse. Rapists/Abusers don’t look at a woman and say, “hey she’s _____ so she’s a candidate for rape.” 

Your abuse didn’t happen because of something you did. It happened because the abuser has problems. Their the one’s with the issues. In most cases abuse happens to show some sort of power and control. The abuser feeds of the power and control. That’s why it happens. Not because God has it out for you, or because the there is some cosmic plan to destroy your life. It happens because they abuser is mentally sick. Abuse happens all the time, unfortunately. It happens to all types of people. All different kinds of people, in all different kinds of situations. There is one common thing : an abuser with an illness. 

Stop living life as though you’ve asked for it. Let yourself live, let yourself be free! Don’t let them have any more power of you. Love yourself, get your power back! You don’t have to live a life in bondage. Don’t let negative thoughts consume you. Challenge them. Every time you hear that voice that tells you, “it’s your fault” make sure you tell yourself that it’s not true. 

It’s unfortunate, it’s terrible, it’s heartbreaking, but it’s not your fault. You didn’t ask for this, or bring it upon yourself. And as sad as it is, and as painful as it is to hear.. you can’t change it. It happened. From here you can grow, you can heal, you can put it behind you. Let go of the guilt, the blame, stop trying to “fix” something that’s not broken. It’s the abusers fault, they are the ones with the problem. 

Learn to love yourselves. Everyone is worthy. Live a life of freedom. It’s not your fault. 

All my love,
-Sara 

I wondered often how it would feel to be just satisfied with the life that I am living. What if I wasn’t always pining away for something else. What if I wasn’t always thinking about what I can get or buy with my next pay check? What if I wasn’t always wishing that I could look a different way, have a different body type. Why can’t I just be prettier, skinnier, richer, more successful.. why can’t I just be?

I struggled with this for a really long time. Nothing I did was good enough. I could be the best at what I was doing, but it wasn’t enough. But that’s what I needed to realize, nothing was ever enough for me. I was doing it to myself.. I was my own problem, I was making myself unhappy. I had these high expectations, I had all these aspirations, which is great, but in the mean time I wasn’t giving myself any credit for who I was or what I was doing. That was part of the problem. Another part was that I wasn’t living the life God had given me. I was always trying to make it better. I wasn’t living in the moment and enjoying it. And if you find yourself relating to what I’m saying right now, then here are somethings that helped me in to find peace within myself and who I am and what I’m doing.. 

• Living in the moment takes practice - It’s a concept most people don’t adapt to nor do they think about that often. But you can do it. When you find yourself wrapped up in tomorrow or next week.. try taking a step back and looking around at what you are doing today. What is going on right now in this moment. What are you doing right now? How do you feel? Who are you with? I always use to tell myself, “I’m in ______ room, and I am feeling ______.” And it helped my stay focused on what was going on instead of stressing about future plans, or thinking about other things. 
• Remember that you can be whoever you want in this very moment - If you are feeling down or upset about who you are, what you stand for, take pride in the fact that if you don’t like it.. you can change it! If you are feeling bad about not attending school right now.. guess what, you can go to college at any time. If you are feeling worthless because you don’t stand for something, then get up and go volunteer some of your time. You can do whatever it is you want. You don’t have to believe your mind when it says that you are a failure. If you want something, work towards it. But remember, don’t look at this and take it as an excuse to be unhealthy or negative (eating disorder girls.. I’m talking to you)!
• When you make the choice to be happy others will follow suit - Happiness is a moment to moment choice. And it’s hard to make the decision all the time, but I always found it was easier to choose happiness when I knew it was going to benefit others. Other people notice that you are being active and making a choice and that inspires them to do the same thing! 
• Remind yourself of why you could be happy/content - So cliche, I know. But honestly, I believe it works. When I was in treatment I had an assignment every night and that was to sit down and write 5 things I was grateful for. And everynight I reminded myself how many blessings I had in my life, and everynight I went to bed feeling a bit more content. 

Happiness isn’t about the things you have. Or the things you could have. Material items don’t make happiness. Happiness is about choosing to look around you and see the beauty in life, and the beauty within yourselves. Instead of picking out the flaws in your life or in yourself, challenge those thoughts with positive things. If you feel ugly, remind yourself why you are beautiful. If you feel worthless, remind yourself of all the things you have accomplished, helped with, and overcome in life. If you are always pining away for the next best thing, remember that even if you get the new gift the wrapping will be the same… it repeats it’s self.. after that you’ll want what’s next, and happiness will never be reached. Choose happiness, it’s atainable! It’s hard, but if you want it, it can be reached. 

All my love,
-Sara

Sorry for falling off the face of the earth for a little bit.. but I just haven’t had anything to write about lately. But, I’ve been seeing a lot of talk around the internet about mental illnesses and depression.. alas, inspiration!  

Depression is such a common issue, not many people talk about it though. Why is that? Well, I use to keep it a secret because it carried a lot of shame. I was embarrassed, I wasn’t like my friends. I wasn’t happy all the time. According to the  Washington University in St. Louis, of the estimated 17.5 million Americans who are affected by some form of depression, 9.2 million have major or clinical depression. The Teenage Depression Organization says that 20% of teenagers will have some type of depression before they reach adulthood. So I obviously wasn’t alone in my feelings.

Depression can be a serious thing if it isn’t helped. Depression can cause symptoms that most people don’t think about. Substance abuse, self-injury, eating disorders, promiscuity, anxiety disorders can all be symptoms of depression. Normally, people think they dabble in certain things just because they’re “bored”… most even think they don’t have a problem, or that they do it because their friends do it.. but it’s not normal to use a negative behavior as a way of coping with your life. Most addictions stem from unresolved depression. What happens, most often, is that people don’t know how to deal with their depression and from there they turn to outside things, normally the ones listed above, as an escape. They want to feel something outside of the sadness, or the emptiness, the loneliness, the numbness. But, after a while those negative coping mechanisms stop working, and you are left with a more intense feeling of depression. I used my eating disorder.. it made me feel something, it let me focus on something besides my sadness, and it made everything ten times more chaotic. I have a friend, and when she turned 21, she enjoyed going out and having a drink with her friends, but it turned into more than that. Her friends could go out and have a drink, and were fine, they were drinking for social reasons. My friend started drinking to escape problems. Understand where I am coming from? It’s so important to understand the reasoning behind why you are doing what you are doing..

Depression often leads to suicide. People think that there isn’t a way to escape always feeling so low. Or people just lose motivation all together. Most develop a sense of hopelessness.. that life won’t ever amount to living, so what’s the point of it? Suicide is another “taboo” subject that most don’t like to discuss. But, unfortunately, it’s a very big part of society. Suicide, stemming from depression, is more common than people think.. 

I don’t want this blog to be all fact based.. I guess the point I want to get across to anyone reading this is, yes - depression is Hell.. but it’s treatable, and you are not alone in it. I’ve been there, I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it. I’ve beaten it. And so can you. To those of you reading this.. I know what it’s like to want to die, how it hurts to live. How you never think you’ll see anything beyond the darkness.. 

Well, I was wrong. If you feel like you are one of the many people who struggle with depression and/or suicidal ideations I strongly encourage you to get help. Sometimes people know where there depression stems from, most call this “situational depression” .. mine, for example, was because I didn’t heal or come to terms with my past. Some people don’t have a reason to be depressed.. They have a nice family, friends, grades.. everything they could want and they still aren’t happy. That’s normal. It happens to a lot of people. Fact is depression is depression.. and most can’t beat it alone. Reach out - to anyone. Just don’t try and bear it alone. And for those struggling with suicidal thoughts, get help now. Don’t use a permanent solution for a temporary problem.  The National Suicide Hotline provides help 24/7 - 1-800-273-8255

There is life beyond depression. Imagine it for a moment.. what would your life be like if you were actually excited to wake up in the morning and start your day? 

Feel free to leave any comments, concerns, suggestions, questions. 
All my love.
-S 

So, I think this will probably be my most personal blog post, but I’m okay with that.. I’m okay with that because I am no longer afraid of who I am and where I’ve been. I am survivor of multiple rapes, and I am a survivor of incest, I am a survivor of molestation. And, I’m sorry for any of you who feel uncomfortable with my bluntness. But a year ago, I wouldn’t have been able to say that I was survivor. I would have lied to you, I wouldn’t have shared anything out of my personal life, and if I did I would have classified myself as a victim. I am able to be open about my experience and about my life because I’ve worked so hard to be able to talk openly. Yes, does it bring up hurtful things? Yes, does it make me feel awkward? Do I want to be known for more than my recovery and my past, yes. But, I have learned that if I talk about it others don’t feel so scared to.

If you are wondering what the term “trauma work” is I’ll explain. It’s the part of therapy when you decided to share your sexual assault experience. It’s literally working through the trauma. Letting go of it, not letting it have power of you. You learned to process what happened. During my own work, I walked through what happened, step-by-step, with each detail. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but it was so worth it in the long run. What I write in this post is not the full extent of the healing process.. there is so many things that go into it.. But here’s what I believe are the biggest parts..

I’ve had a lot of people ask me, over and over, “Is this worth it?” or, “Should I talk about this? I mean, maybe it will just go away.”  I want you to know, that if you have ever had an experience with sexual abuse, it won’t just go away.  I locked mine own abuse up for years inside of me. As a result, I had superficial relationships. I let very few people get close because I didn’t feel worthy, and I didn’t trust it. Even if I didn’t make these choices consciously. I felt so alone, even though I was surrounded by people. I was in a dark place — like most victims of crimes like this. It’s so intimate, it’s so personal, it has the power to completely destroy you. But, there is a way out of it. Talk about it. Honestly. 

You cannot hold onto this by yourself, you cannot hold onto this forever. It will eat you up inside. I know it, I tried. It ruined me, it ruined my relationships. It ruined my ability to have a normal teenage experience with dating and intimacy, but that was temporary. I came into treatment not wanting to share one bit of what had happened. But I was pushed, and pushed, my treatment team - consisting of like seven different people all wanted me to talk about it, and they put the pressure on, and one day I broke.. 

I sat in that therapy office and freaked out. I couldn’t hide it anymore. It hurt too much. I was drowning, and I needed help. I remember my first session I ever talked about my experience. I would open my mouth to start to say something, then shut it again, because I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. My therapist, Loreta, is the sweetest lady I have ever met. She’s literally seen side of me to see. But, on that day I just couldn’t say anything to her. I was so afraid she was going to judge me or think less of me. I told her this, and she spent a good forty-five minutes reassuring me that she liked me, and that she wouldn’t think differently. Finally, I began.. 

“I was in the bathroom one day and then the door opened… next thing I knew I was on the ground, and I was no longer a little girl..”

Blunt. Uncomfortable. Scary. Liberating. Freeing.

I know you’re in a world of pain, if you have gone through something like this, but that pain will lessen. At the start of it you can’t see anything besides the pain, and at times, it feels never ending. But that changes. You work through it. You and who ever you decide to talk to point things out that you couldn’t see before. I had a lot of guilt about not stepping up and telling someone what was happening. But, when I went through all the situations with my therapist she said, “How could you? You were a little girl, you didn’t understand what was going on. Sure, you understood it wasn’t something you liked, but you didn’t understand that it wasn’t something normal.” I felt as though I waited forever to hear those words, they empowered me. They helped me to take the first step to forgiveness of myself.

I fully believing find a therapist you can trust is so important to this process. You have to have someone who will be there with you. Challenge you when needed. Be kind with you. Point out other views. Be ready to listen.  

It’s hard, it’s so very hard. I can’t express that enough. I survived the abuse but sometimes I wonder if I can survive the healing process. Healing interrupted all the old ways of coping, like my eating disorder, and my need to be head over heels involved to keep my mind busy. If you want to start trauma work, first of all, I applaud you. You have officially taken the first step in healing. But there are some things I think you need to remember while working through all of this.

• Be kind to yourself! Survivors often neglect their own needs.. they deem themselves not “worthy enough”. This is a hard process.. self-care is an important part of that. Without it you can’t get very far. Be able to relax from healing. It doesn’t have to be the focus of your life at all times. 
•  Find a support system. Find a friend, confide in your family. Talk to an anonymous mentor. Talk to someone you know who has been through it. But you are going to need that safety net when your therapist isn’t around. You may have gone through the abuse alone, but you don’t have to heal alone.
• Ask for help. A support system is only good if you use it, even though it’s not always easy. If the people really support you they won’t judge you. 

When I first started my work I was always in a state of panic. I would share details then freak out, not being able to imagine that I just shared that with someone else. I was so ashamed. But, just remember fear and panic are a normal part of this. Find good ways to help yourself through it - listen to music, go for a drive, take a walk, make art, write, and so on. 

Another thing to remember is that this process doesn’t happen overnight. If you choose to tell your story you aren’t going to fixed right after. It gives you a relieving feeling.. a weight off your shoulders. But it’s not over. It’s not a quick fix. It’s a process and often there are many stages involved. 

• Deciding to work on your issues.
• The panic phase.
• Breaking the silence.
• Working through the blame.
• Anger.
• Grieving.

And more.. but overcoming each of those stages is life-altering thing. It can change your whole life. When you’ve hit the last part you’ll know. You will be able to wake up in the morning and it won’t be the first thing to come to your mind. Or, some people get to the point where they no longer want to waste their lives thinking about it.. and that’s okay, they are ready to just acknowledge it and let it go. 

On to the big question.. What really makes it worth though? Well, I wake up in the morning and I am happy to be alive. I am happy to see another day. I am excited to see what will be thrown my way. I don’t feel like a terrible person everyday of my life. I don’t feel like the world looks at me and thinks I’m a tainted human being. I’ve gained so much through working this process. I’ve learned how to trust again. Which is something a lot of survivors struggle with. I never thought I’d trust people again, but I learned how to trust.. I trusted my therapist, my treatment team, my support system. I’ve learned how to love again. Love myself, love others. I’ve regained my spirituality. I now believe that, I too, am worth God’s love. I don’t let this control me anymore. It happened, I can’t change it. But I can do something with it. I can help others. I can advocate for what I believe in. 

It’s different for everyone. But let me ask you a question. If you could go through life happy, wouldn’t you? Why hold onto this? Why let this dictate your life, your sexuality, your relationships, your work, your sanity? Get your power back. The healing process is something everyone does differently, and everyone gets different things out of it. By no means is the healing process as easy as it seems above, and what’s stated above isn’t all there is too it, only a bit.. but it’s possible. You can do it. You deserve it. Start working on it. You’ll see that there is a light to this dark situation. 

Please, feel free to voice comments, questions, concerns. If you want to talk, if you want me to explain something in more detail:
Facebook- Sara Penrod. E-mail- sarapenrod@live.com 

All my love
-S.  

So, the inspiration for this post is that I’ve had conversations with people about eating “healthy” for days! I think everyday for the past two weeks I’ve had a conversation about what eating should be. Now, by no means am I a dietitian.. Treatment though, did teach me a little something about what a person should be eating.

First off, to the people who think that eating throughout the day isn’t okay because they will have a large dinner.. well, I can say with all certainty, that line of thinking is totally wrong. If you truly want to learn how to eat correctly you have to eat during the day. Typically the ideal eating habit is six times a day :

- Breakfast.
- Morning Snack.
- Lunch
- PM Snack
- Dinner
- Bedtime Snack.

Now, with life, I know that eating throughout the day can be difficult.. people have school and jobs. But, it literally takes a minute to eat a nutrigrain bar.. if you really want to follow this there are way you can fit in your schedule. Eating throughout the day provides a couple of different things.

• Your body is always getting the fuel it needs. If you eat breakfast in the morning, most nutrients are burned up by mid-morning. Therefore, eating a snack before lunch can refuel you!
• Eating throughout the day prevents you from overeating later. If you skip breakfast, lunch, and don’t eat any snacks you become super hungry for dinner.. then once dinner arrives you eat everything in front of you! If you eat periodically then you don’t have to worry about overeating.
• When people don’t eat throughout the day, and it’s an everyday thing, your stomach can actually shrink. Then, when you sit down to a meal you aren’t hungry and it’s difficult to eat. That can provide problems because your body isn’t getting the things it needs if you aren’t feeding it well. *

*To elaborate off that last one: I can tell you that shrinking your stomach is not a fun experience. When I was active in my eating disorder I couldn’t hold down an adequate amount of food. I deprived my body of nutrients and things I needed to make it through the day. I could barely function. True story. Then, the re-feeding process was Hell. To eat a normal amount after not eating is not fun! Don’t even try it..

If you think not eating through the day, or just eating “healthy foods” is going to make you lose weight, you are wrong. So very wrong. When you skip meals you throw your metabolism off. Which means you can’t break down foods in the proper way in a proper time. Let’s say you didn’t eat breakfast, then for lunch you just had some chips — which is common among most people — when you finally sit down for dinner and eat your body doesn’t know what is going on. It will hold onto all the fat in that meal because it didn’t get anything during the day. Now, I’m not saying this will happen if you skip breakfast once in a while. Hell, sometimes I do. But, if this becomes a daily pattern you will mess up the way your body functions. Make sense. If not, please feel free to contact me and I can help clear it up.

Moving on. The last thing I’d like to address is Healthy v. Unhealthy foods. I hate using the terms healthy and unhealthy. Bad and good food. Right and wrong foods. I like to have no feelings about food, which I believe, is how it should be. Food is food, and EVERYTHING IS OKAY IN MODERATION. What I mean by this is:

Stop looking at calories, stop looking at the sugar intake. Eat what you want! I know most of you by now are thinking, “Sara, you have lost your mind.” Just stick with me. Every single food has something your body needs. A donut— it has fats, and it carries a grain. Something people don’t typically think about. They just think it’s “bad” for you. It’s not alright to eat a donut every single day, but it’s not alright to eat a banana every single day either. Everything should come in moderation. It’s not healthy to restrict certain foods because they aren’t healthy enough for you. You can eat what you want, when you want. Listen to your body. Listen to hunger cues. Eat an appropriate amount of all exchanges. Meaning you should have with every meal - grains, veggies or a fruit, dairy, fats, proteins. You should be eating all sorts of things. Not just veggies because that’s what is “good” for you. You need a variety of food to provide your body.

You have what is called a “God given weight” which means you have a weight that is right for who you are. If you eat throughout the day and you eat things in moderation you’re going to find out that will maintain your correct weight. Diets normally don’t work. They may make you shed some pounds but it’s normally not in a correct way. Eating correctly is the best thing you can do for your body.

Like I said, I’m not an expert on this. I’m speaking from what I was taught and my own experience with food. I’m sorry if I offended anyone with this post. If I did, feel free to tell my why. Maybe we can talk it out.

All my love
-S.

** my main objective in posting this is to have a positive mindset about food. Don’t restrict foods you like because they aren’t good for you! Eat what you want. Maintain a neutral line of thinking when it comes to food. Mentally, you shouldn’t have a battle in your head about what not to eat.

So let’s be honest.. recovery isn’t always so great. No one can always be on what I like to call a “recovery high”. Where, “life is great! I’m really at peace with my issues”.. blah, blah. No. Doesn’t always happen. Doesn’t always feel so nice. I tell my therapist all the time that I absoultely love being in recovery… it’s an amazing feeling to be at peace with yourself, to advocate for the things you believe in, to reach out to others, to share stories, advice, whatever..but sometimes I straight up despise the fact that I have to be in recovery. Seriously, what? I didn’t choose this. I didn’t wake up one day and want an eating disorder, I didn’t wake up all those years ago wanting to be abused. I don’t want to wake up with the urges to drink, or self-harm.

Sometimes, I really hate the fact that I chose to be in recovery. It’s hard. I sometimes would love to give into urges. To sit in my bed all day and throw a pity party. But hey, guess what? Feeling like that IS A PHASE! And every single person goes through it. Just this past week I’ve been struggling a lot. Yes, you read that right. I struggle.. just like everyone else out there. I’m not happy all the time. I’m not following what I’m supposed to do all the time. That’s life, sometimes. Slip ups happen. Just because you may be in therapy, or have gone to treatment doesn’t mean that you are fixed. I missed some meals this past week. I isolated quite a bit. I didn’t reach out for help. In fact, on Sunday I even cried because I didn’t want to get up out of bed and face the day. I thought life was over..

Rest assured, everyone… it goes on. Even when you get to your lowest point.. it still goes on. This past week I was done. Finished. Not doing anything, anymore. But guess what? I woke up one day.. pulled myself up and I told myself, “Sara, stop with the pity and self-sabotage. You want to have a good day? Fine, then let’s do it.” And hey, I did it! I got back on track. I started following my rules. I started reaching out to people for help. Believe it was hard. But it’s worth it. 

I know for me, not all, when I slip up and have the urges to relapse I always notice that my faith life, my spiritual and religious life, slip too. I get angry. I get angry at God. Why did He let this happen? Isn’t He supposed to help in times of need? Yes, He is. And, He does. Sometimes it just isn’t always so clear to see. But, I’ve found that you really need to just let go, have some blind faith, lean on Him, and things will somehow work out. Just today, I was still feeling a bit down after the holidays and this past week from Hell.. but I ran into some friends at a coffee shop and they invited me to join and we talked about God, and struggles, and just life in general. It was like God let me have that conversation with them, because that’s what I needed. I even got to share a little bit, give a bit back. There was one woman I was with that wanted some advice on meal planning and such. My recovery and my knowledge of that let me help her. That’s really what makes recovery worth while. When your experiences can help others and you can give back, is what makes even the hardest points of recovery worth it. I fully think that God works through others. Those people, those conversations held today were there for a reason. 

I guess what I really want to get across in this late night ramble is slip-ups happen. You aren’t always going to be happy. That’s normal. Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t think you’ve thrown away all the work you’ve done. Don’t give up. Something will change, your mindset will improve if you continue to work on it. If you somehow veer off the path you can always put yourself right back on. And, as hard as it is, don’t lose your connection with God. It’s okay to be upset. Everyone goes through stages with Him. But remember that He has a plan, He’s working for you - even when you can’t see it. 

Stay strong, everyone. You are worth it. Recovery is worth if you let it be. 

All my love
-S 

dordaneh89:

WOW…just wow

No excuse for this.

In fact, they are Hell. They aren’t fun, or pretty, or make you strong. Drinking, drug abuse, self-injury, eating disorders - they all suck. They are all something you cannot just to choose to do or not to do. 

And they have nothing to do with WILLPOWER. I’m so so so sick and tired of looking all over the internet and seeing people say, “Gee, I wish I had the willpower of an anorexic, that way I could be skinny.” Hold up. No. It has nothing to do with willpower. It has everything to do with a mental illness. An eating disorder isn’t something you can just wake up in the morning and choose to do. I fully believe that it chooses you. It gets stuck in your head, because you have a predisposition to it. You can’t pick to have one. It becomes a fascination, an obsession. It clings to people with a genetic trait for it. 

Anyone see anything about willpower in that description? Didn’t think so. I’ve also seen a lot of people on the internet talking about how they wish they could have one to gain some sense of control, because, let’s face it… food is apart of every second of everyday. Your body needs food to survive, it’s a pretty big deal. Now, I think the people that think this way, yet don’t have an eating disorder, certainly have somethings that they need to work on. But, let me also explain this.. Eating disorders, or even addictions, in general DO. NOT. PROVIDE. CONTROL. They give off the illusion of control. They tell you, “Look, you are doing so well.. because you can control this. You can stop this whenever you want.” When in reality, you can’t. Eating disorders get inside your head, they tell you that you are only a good person when you can resist temptation, when you can resist to eat the piece of food. They become the most manipulative person in your life; it nags at you. Tells you that are nothing with it. See where I’m going with this? An illusion… it has control over you not the other way around. 

Now, I know I’ve been focusing mainly around eating disorders, but this can apply to any disorder. Self-injury isn’t about control. It’s about feeling some. Sometimes, it’s even about self-punishment. But no one, in their right mind, would just do it, because they want to. It’s a disease. Same goes for drinking and abusing drugs. Some people can drink and smoke allllll they want, and it doesn’t bother them. They don’t need it to survive. Alcoholics aren’t so lucky. Their brain craves it, they absolutely have to it.  They can’t control it. It gets so out of hand. Can anyone tell me an alcoholic, a drug user, a person who self-harms, a person with an eating disorder that has their addictions under control? 

Before you say you want one these “fabulous” diseases you might want to think about what you are actually getting into. And if you are someone struggling with one of these things; seek help. Speak to someone. Get help. You’re worth it. Don’t let these addictions have power and control over you any longer. Recovery is fabulous, that’s the truth.

All my love
-S